Saturday, March 9, 2019


Haven't checked in in awhile and yeap, have some thoughts to spill again, hence I'm here.

I've been drafting this post again and again and I just can't seem to write down how I'm really feeling about everything.

Currently sitting in a cafe for a work trip in Kuching, honestly there's nothing much to do here. Not sure is it because its the city centre and I have to get out of town to do the nature nature stuff.

Anyway, it feels like I'm going through a difficult time in my life right now. *not being dramatic*

Just feel lost and that I'm not doing what I like to do at the moment. Need to remind myself that if I'm not doing anything about it, then I'll just stay in the same miserable pit hole.

I don't feel the same way about certain things in my life right now, ie. what I prioritize, what I want for myself..... And I'm trying to come to terms with that, that it's okay to feel this way. Taking the plunge into the unknown where I'm not sure what or how the outcome will be like... But I do know that I will be much much happier.

I'm not quite sure of what is the trigger of me starting to feel this way where I feel that what I do on a daily basis may not add any value to my life anymore, or neither does it gives me that sense of achievement anymore.

Perhaps its... Growing up and finding that my world doesn't revolve around my career, to the extent where you miss out on life where you don't get to have time for yourself - like watching that TV series everyone is talking about, or even feeling good about yourself - dressing out, going out, working out, or even having time to spend with your friends and family. Time doesn't wait for anyone, and as and when you grow older, you feel that time passes way too fast and there is only so much you can do in a day.

It's scary being at this age where we are supposed to feel secure about everything - getting a degree, having a career that you work your ass off to buy a car, buy a house, buy properties. But like the internet quote says, did anyone really wonder, if a person works so hard to achieve these things, is the person in a good state of mental wellbeing? Is the person happy?

So I went to one of my regular coffee stops one day to catch up with one of my friend, where I saw the barista previously posting on instagram about how his life nearly ended because he got into a total loss accident. So before I left I had a short chat with the barista, and asked him how was he? How did the accident happen?

Instead it became a conversation about me. About how obvious it is that I am really really am so unhappy with where I am in life right now. And its good that I have that awareness on what I want for myself in my life ie. to do something which I'm happy with, and find it fulfilling. He mentioned that if I know what I wanted, why not just try and go for it? Rather than slave my life at a job and at 40 or 50 years old, regret on the things that I have not done. He mentioned where I am still young, if things doesn't work out then I could always go back to current job.

Another thing which I really found spot on which was where he said, you probably am thinking about judgment from other people. How people will judge you if you left your job. How people will judge you if you started a business. How people will judge you if you failed at your business. But why.... Why do I need that validation from other people and why am I always searching for it? Who the fuck cares what they think?

It's honestly tough to not care about what other people think about me. But I'll try to improve on this.

I know that from what I'm writing here it totally sounds like a eat, pray, love moment, but it's not. I'm still aware that I need money to support myself for my remaining lifetime, pay my car installments as well as to support my family.

2018 was a year that was quite bad for me, in terms of my emotional state of mind. I've been finding ways to deal with it where I binged on whatever food and drinks that gave me temporary happiness, and whether its drinking it up during the weekends so that I could just not deal with whatever that was going on with my life. Or going to gym. Or staying at home to nua for the weekends after working my ass off on all weekdays. Work was well, honestly, not giving my 100% into it, but I still have to press on because I still have to be responsible, suck it up and do my job and get a pay cheque at the end of the month. Or not let other people clean up after my shit (where I hate cleaning up other people's shit at work too). But it really added on to my unhappiness a lot.

But 2018 was also the year where I met a few gems, got closer to some people whom I didn't expect to be close to, and drifted apart from some people who I felt like I couldn't relate with or was too emotionally draining for me. Initially, I felt quite bad about this, but after talking to mom about it, she said that I have tried my best as a friend, and it happens.

In 2018, I started to talk to my group fitness instructor, like after 2 years plus of attending his class. Personally find this person so so passionate about his job where he has been teaching for 10 years and when you attend his class he makes sure you give your 100%. Not every instructor teaches with such passion. Still damn shy of talking to other people in class, but yeah I shall try working on it this year. Attended classes on a consistent basis too after coming back from Vietnam and settling down with my weekly routine again. It's something I look forward to at every end of the day, and somehow for this year my target is to finish the whole class as in do the lunges, squats and push ups properly wtf. Hope to keep up with this this year!

Speaking about passion, I really hope to find out what I myself am very passionate about where I will give my all in doing, and want others to have interest and enjoy what I do too. How to find out what I like to do and what is my passion, guess its time to embark on this trial and error journey, time to explore. But I'll have to remind myself that a journey like this is definitely not going to be easy.

2019 will definitely be the year of changes, for the better I guess....

Saturday, December 22, 2018

One Half x Ilaika Select Store @ Taman Paramount, Petaling Jaya

Finally, about time I'd written about this favourite coffee place of mine.

Hmm, started visiting this place late last year, and before that, this place has been around for a while but I never got around to visiting it. But from one visit, I fell in love with this place and with subsequent visits, I got addicted to this cozy space in Taman Paramount, PJ. It's actually located beside Awesome Canteen and same row as the famous duck rice in Taman Paramount.

One Half started from a pop up store at BRATs, and they closed down after awhile. Subsequently opening two other stores, Random Food Store, beside Village Park Nasi Lemak in Uptown, and then this co-shared outlet with Ilaika Select Store, which sells locally curated items like dried flowers, cute plants, ceramic homeware, scented candles, leather card holders etc etc.

Didn't manage to take a picture of the bar area, but yeah, One Half is pretty much at the back of the shop, where there is ample natural lighting during the day. They have coffee, tea, kombucha, self made wine, orange juice, self made banana loaf, self made sourdough, tartines, sandwiches and a variety of cakes. 

They do have the usual selection of milk coffee and black coffee. And also filter coffee, which I have never tried before in the past. For filter coffee, or your black coffee, you get to select the type of beans they are serving for the day, and somehow, there is really a difference where different coffee beans have different taste notes, as a result of the type of beans, all the way up to how the coffee is roasted. I don't really know how to explain it here, but do ask the friendly baristas if you are somehow interested in finding out what is the difference, haha.

Personally prefer visiting the Taman Paramount outlet because it has individual tables and a hipster ambience where it's a good place for people watching ie. checking out other people that dress up. But if you do visit the outlet in Uptown it is somehow a different concept where it serves hot food and the table is somehow a shared table where it encourages you to connect with other people.

So far I have been loving the long black (all time favourite order), cold brew coffee where they add a dehydrated grapefruit/lemon slice to it, cold brew tonic (cold brew + tonic water), black tonic (black coffee + tonic water), coffee lemonade (coffee + lemonade), sourdough (with brown sugar, with marmite), and the mushroom tartine.

As for milk coffee, at first, didn't fancy the latte at all because I find it too milky. Highlighted it to the barista and she recommended me to try flat white instead which is more balanced and that's my current favourite order for now.

If you don't know what to drink, just ask the barista for recommendations and they would be glad to help you make the right order, and they're usually up for a friendly conversation as well.

This place has minimal tables, so on certain days, it can get pretty crowded, but there are both indoor and outdoor seats. The indoor seats can get quite cold sometimes but the outdoor seating area are always full of smokers and can get pretty warm on a sunny day.

Besides that, I'd say this place isn't really suitable to work as the chairs aren't that comfortable for sitting long hours, and there are minimal plug points. It is more of a place to catch up with your friends, or where you want to have some quiet time alone.

Anyways. hope to be able to convince you to visit this cute place with good coffee (and hopefully not break your bank account).

Signing off for now.

One Half x Ilaika Select Store
17, Jalan 20/13, Taman Paramount, 
46300, Petaling Jaya, Selangor. 

Opening Hours:
Monday to Sunday
8am to 10.30pm



Sunday, September 16, 2018

Hanoi Part 1

The view from my final trip to Hanoi!

A lot of you have asked for recommendations on where to go, and I'm tired of being a repetitive Google Hanoi / Google Vietnam, hence this post. Well, if you are wondering on how localized can I get, I'm not really localized localized.

1) What Sim Card should I get and where should I get the Sim Card?

Honestly speaking, when I was there in Hanoi, I was there for work and expenses were claimable, hence we just picked one of the booths selling tourist sim cards at the airport, at 250,000 VND (RM45), you can get about 10GB worth of data. There are different packages, depending on how long is your stay and what you require the sim card for. eg. data only or data and calls.

It's more convenient to get a sim card at the airport so you can order Grab to your hotel!

However, as all these sim cards are not sold by the official telco and it is at the airport, you are most probably purchasing the sim card at marked up prices.

So far I have tried both Viettel and Vinaphone, Vinaphone somehow has more stable connectivity to data, the only con is we have trouble connecting to VPN.

If you are patient enough and you're really tight on a budget, I would recommend that you use airport wifi and take a Grab to Vinaphone Hoan Kiem, which is located in the city centre, and get a tourist sim card here.

If during your stay in Hanoi, you have ran out of data, you could easily purchase top up for your cards at telco shops all around the city.

2) What mode of transport do you take from one place to another?

As we are constantly travelling in a group of 4 people or more (plus our transport expenses are claimable), we take Grab all around Hanoi because its cheaper, reliable and it is safe! Most of the
time, travelling in the city centre only costs 25,000 VND (RM4-5) which is really cheap.

I have read about many horror stories online on fake cabs which may mark up the price by a lot, hence, we chose to take Grab instead. If possible, select the Grab 4 cho option (GrabCar 4 person) as the default setting is Grab 4 cho/GrabTaxi. We have had a bad experience when a GrabTaxi came to pick us up and still demanded us to pay up to him based on the meter fare.

If you have luggage, it is recommended that you order a 7-seater as usually the car for a 4-seater are usually smaller cars like the Kia Morning and not the usual sedan in Malaysia.

Also, be sure to confirm the car plate and cross check with the driver before you get on your Grab! This is very very important.

During one of our trips, my female colleague and I were travelling together. We ordered a Grab with the number plate bearing XYZ 123 (example) and its a Toyota Fortuner (Brown). When we are waiting for our Grab to arrive, another Fortuner with a different car plate arrives and tells us that 'his friend told him to pick us up'. I was really confused but I insisted not to get on the Grab. Moments later, our actual Grab bearing the car plate XYZ 123 arrives to pick us up.

Anyway, would totally recommend you to walk in the city center from one place to another for some exercise!

3) Where should I stay in Hanoi?

Depending on your budget and whether you want to stay in/out of the city, Hanoi is really filled with lots and lots of hotels. Be sure to read the reviews on Agoda/ beforehand, but for hotels, would totally recommend Sunway Hotel (free laundry service, gym, lounge, sauna) and The Lapis Hotel (pool, gym, jacuzzi, sauna, nice room). Or if you are travelling with a bunch of friends, I recommend checking out airbnbs within the area.

4) What is there to do in Hanoi? How long should my trip to Hanoi be?

Honestly speaking, there is nothing much to do in Hanoi, unless you take a day trip to places outside of Hanoi, even if you were taking the day trip, I would recommend 4-5 days in Hanoi. Probably 1-2 days is enough to cover Hanoi, and the others shall be spent outside Hanoi.

Places of interest in Hanoi would include:

Ho Chi Minh Masoleum

I think this place opens and closes really early, like it closes at 11am or something, but you still can view the masoleum from the outside. We have never been inside, but basically it showcases Ho Chi Minh's remains here. An interesting fact to note is that his remains gets sent to Russia annually to be maintained and further preserved. Security here is pretty tight because Ho Chi Minh was their well respected leader.

Ta Hien Street

Ta Hien Street, also known as Beer Street, where you can get really cheap beer (RM2/bottle) and their locally brewed beer here! Haven't tried their locally brewed beer, but this is the area where its more happening at night where you can grab drinks with your friends here.

Train Street

Catch a Grab to 224, Le Duan, many sites online say that the train passes by at 3pm, hence we were there around 2.30pm. Would recommend you to arrive to this place at 3pm, and around 3.30pm, the train will pass by.

You are probably here to just catch the adrenaline of the train passing by right in front of your face at full speed, it's nothing special really. You could probably experience the same thing in Malaysia at your nearest KTM station.

St. Joseph's Cathedral

This cathedral is located in the Old Quarters area where a lot of old buildings have been there since the French colonial era, hence this church. During the day, you can visit the inside the church for free, and at night, occasionally, there are schoolkids singing carols and hymns outside the church.

Hoan Kiem Lake

This lake is the most touristy lake of Hanoi, but it's probably the place where locals hang out too! Would recommend you to visit this place during weekends where the whole lake surroundings are closed to traffic and it becomes a pedestrian street and you can see the action in full swing, locals selling cotton candy, locals bringing their kids to walk around the lake, locals dancing to k-pop on the streets, locals playing their version of batu seremban, jenga, jian zi, skipping rope on the streets. At night, be serenaded by the local live singers by the lake.

On weekend nights, would totally recommend you to check out the night markets and the numerous souvenir shops where you can get your trending rattan bags and bargain for more reasonable prices!

Other than that, there are other attractions like the Temple of Literature, Dong Xuan Market or the prison, which we did not check out.

Bay Mau Lake

This is another huge lake, but its more of a lake where it's not touristy at all. This is a lake where the locals come to jog or just hang out at the local amusement park. I came here to jog on a weekend (walked 2km from my hotel, and 2km back) and ran 6km around the lake. A total of 10km on a weekend afternoon, not too bad. You could catch the sunset here as well and enjoy the evening breeze with a beer, iced tea or a coconut in hand with the many stalls available at the lakeside.

5) Where to go outside Hanoi then?

Would recommend you to travel on a motor bike yourself, with the help of Google Maps or Waze if you are feeling adventurous enough, or if not, then book a tour. You can easily book a day-tour at the numerous travel agencies at the Old Quarter area. Be sure to haggle for cheaper prices as they know you are a tourist.

For more information on where to go outside of Hanoi, and what to eat in Hanoi, be sure to wait till my next post!

Friday, August 3, 2018

*sweeps off dust as usual*

Just felt like stopping by here as it feels like the write place to spill everything that is on my mind.

Can't believe its almost August 2018!

So much have changed since I last written here.

My favourite coffee place is no longer Three Little Birds or RINSE.

I got myself a car in January 2018 after months of contemplating to get one or not, was a little too early in getting a car. Should have only done so after the election where I could have saved RM7 to 8k but oh well! Bought myself a Honda City without even test driving it wtf. Previously was driving the Jazz and I didn't want to get a newer version of the same car.

Mom and Dad sold the old car and they took back the proceeds of the car. I paid for the down payment of my very own car, and am paying for the instalments myself, hence, I'm very overprotective about my car.

The function that I was most excited about my car has to be the bluetooth radio function so I can FINALLY play my own songs in my car! My friends laughed real hard at me when I told them that this was what I was most looking forward to for my new car. But yeap, haven't listened to the radio ever since getting my car.

Apart from that, been travelling back and forth from Malaysia and Vietnam for an overseas engagement. I'm here in the financial hub of Vietnam, Hanoi. But pretty much explored most corners of Hanoi already. Or checked off all the obligatory touristy things to do, been to the church area, Halong Bay, travelled to Nin Binh and took the two hour boat tour, walked around Hoan Kiem Lake. Had more than enough Pizza 4P, countless bowls of pho and bun cha, probably exceeded the quota for the year already. There is literally nothing much to do in Hanoi, no malls like our regular neighbourhood One Utama and nothing much to eat, not much thirdwave coffee places to visit, nothing that feels like home. Been surviving on packet Milo that Jasmine kindly brought over for me, as well as our nation's trusty Mamee cup noodles.

I've been living like a broke person without savings for a few months while waiting for my claims to be reimbursed, because we have to pay for our hotel first (for a period of two weeks stay each month).

Being a consultant is not as great as it seems, can't believe I'm saying this but can't actually wait to be going back to being an auditor.

Speaking of that, I've been working in my current company for 3.5 years already. How time flies, from A1 days till now. Lately haven't been as passionate as before about my job. Been contemplating and wondering whether it is time for the next step, but what next? I'm not so sure about that.

Been having a lot of these sorts of conversations with people around me. Like how at this age, career progression is not the main priority, more of also, spending time on things you want to improve on, want to try doing, spending time with people that matters and taking care of your own well being.

When I was in Vietnam for work one or two months ago, I had a scare. One night, I was watching Jared and Marianne's cancer reveal, and telling my friend, "Oh how life is so unpredictable, they may not have kids at all in their life."

The next morning, I woke up with a text from my sister, saying my Dad was on the bathroom floor, feeling giddy, vomiting (usually a sign of a stroke or when a heart attack is about to happen), and saying that he cannot even stand up to walk anymore wtf. And she was casually telling me that she was making lemon water for him. I was like, "CALL A DAMN AMBULANCE. This doesn't sound right at all!"

2nd sister immediately bought a plane ticket to be on the next plane home from Singapore.

But I was here, three hours away. And I just arrived in Hanoi like a day or two ago. If I got on the plane home, what happens after that? Do I have to come back to Hanoi? So I waited, for the ambulance to come and get Dad and to see how the situation was like.

It was not like I don't care. I was just far away and feeling so helpless about it. I broke down in my room, but still had to get dressed and ready for work. And waited for either mom or sister to update me again on Dad's condition. She sent me pictures of Dad on the stretcher, Dad being carried on the stretcher and it just.... Broke my heart to see Dad like that.

In the ER, Dad was still puking his guts out. They ran a test to see whether are there any signs of a heart attack happening and did a CT scan, but it was both clear. But they had to admit him because they didn't know what was happening to him. That day, I couldn't work, I was running on auto pilot. At night, I was talking to my sister, how worrying this is. What if Dad didn't make it? What if Dad was really really sick? How would life go on? I couldn't sleep that very night. I tried video calling Dad on that night itself, but he was already asleep, but the image of him on a hospital bed and on drips made me very very upset.

The next day, they ran an MRI scan on him and thank god it was the all clear. Had to wait half a day for the results, but I did manage to video call Dad on the 2nd or 3rd day and the first thing he says is, "Oh, I going to mati liao."

How do I not get freaked out?

In the end, the diagnosis is vertigo. Dad still takes medication up till this very day because it takes awhile to heal.

It was then I realized, my parents are not young anymore. It is time to take care of their health and spend more time with them.

Lately been in a phase too, think I've mentioned before that I have been spending more time with people who share the same values as I do. But lately, been feeling as if I'm obligated to spend time with someone else, I just don't have time for myself. I just want to stay home and do nothing. Especially after travelling for two weeks, only having 1 full weekend to myself in KL. It's emotionally and physically tiring to be honest. I just want to not show up but also don't want to be disregarded as being anti-social or not putting in any effort. (maybe because I really am not putting in any effort)

I just really miss being in one place and being able to live in my routine of waking up, going to work and feeling passionate about my job, going to the gym after work, having dinner after work, and the cycle repeats.

I'm telling myself to be patient and hang in there for another month or so till this project ends so I can finally be in one place again, and finally take a much needed break after working for 8 months straight.

And hit the reset button and go back to being an auditor, being able to do things my way and actually feeling valued about my job.

Oh, I haven't told you about my new favourite coffee places yet.

The first, is this coffee place, where I have been visiting over a year or so. He started as a booth in Publika, selling black or white coffee, for RM5, and it just so happened that my uncle happened to be selling things in the same bazaar and they became friends. Mom was the one who told me about this coffee place, and every time I dropped by at Publika, I was sure to drop by at this coffee booth. Soon after, got to know that he expanded to his booth to a few booths, but I still frequented the one at Publika alot. I loved that the coffee comes with motivational quotes on the cup, but I guess he soon got too busy to write any more quotes on the cup. At one point, he moved outside of Publika, because the BIG management wasn't happy on how the regulars frequented his RM5 coffee booth, even BIG's staff itself. They soon after lowered their staff price to RM5.

Sometime this year, this guy expanded to become a shop. And he still maintained his coffee at RM5 and is a person who is very particular about the quality of his coffee.

That time, my company had this entrepreneur award, and I genuinely think that this guy, is a truely inspiring entrepreneur who was so passionate about his ideas and never gave up, so I nominated him.

Dropped him an email, and he replied that he was busy with the store. Soon after, I guess he kind of forgotten about it, at least I did........ Until one day, he posted an image thanking this person who nominated him for the entrepreneur award, and I got in touch with him.

Although he didn't submit his entry for the entrepreneur award, I managed to let him know how I was interested in making coffee one day, and he even gave me a free t-shirt! He even gave me a few recommendations of places to go in Hanoi. Haha, anyway, if you guys wanna get RM5 coffee when you are around at Publika, with a quick snack of healthy salads or cute small bakes, check out Room 203 Coffee in Publika!

I really didn't expect anything out of the nomination. Like I did not expect that I will get a reaction like that.

 Another place I have been going to a lot is One Half x ilaika. I first fell in love with the hipster style of this shop, but my friend got me to try the long black here where you can actually choose what type of beans and taste of long black you want, and I was hooked!

Haven't personally tried the brew by the owner yet, Keith Koay, who represented Malaysia in the World Barista Championship, but am already very very impressed by his cafe.

A few weekends ago, I went to One Utama to watch the Malaysia Open Barista Championship. At that time, watching the barista championship was really eye opening. It's not only about making a good cup of coffee, it's also about educating your customers about the coffee you are serving.

On that day itself, Keith Koay spoke to the crowd about his experience at the WBC, and how he and Joey Mah had this vision of improving the coffee culture in Malaysia, so that one day, the coffee culture here will be something like Melbourne's coffee culture. He said that preparing the WBC took months and months of hard work, tasting coffee and enduring gastric pains, sometimes till the extent of sleepless nights. And he didn't do it alone. He had always been, along the way, preparing for the competition with his team. Hearing him speak really really inspired me, and I came home and watched his performance at the WBC and was very very impressed!

Also love it that this cafe also sells a lot of artsy stuff - MUJI inspired clothes, things made out of leather, pottery, and candles, all by local designers.

I'm still very noob about coffee, and do hope to learn more about it some day, who knows, one day you see me working as a barista.

Apart from the above, have nothing else which is worth highlighting for now, maybe another time I'll write about our trip to Gua Tempurung, but yeah, let's hope my next post will not be in a few months/next year. Hoping to keep the habit of writing more often here.

Struggling with adulting, but I guess I'mma keep y'all updated on my progress every now and then.


Wednesday, November 29, 2017


I normally write here when I have a lot on my mind and feel like spilling my thoughts on a physical keyboard.

I don't really write or post on how my day is nowadays because, well I simply just don't have the time, or I have just lost my mojo to write here.

Looking back, I have lost my mojo on a lot of things, not just writing here. Probably because I'm focused on more important things nowadays. As time passes by, priorities change.

There are alot of things that I don't do as often anymore, cafe hopping, dressing up, putting on make up.

Can't really catch up with the cafe hopping scene because there are just too many cafes these days, and not all are good. Also I've written about how disappointed I was with the photos on Instagram and how it's really like in real life. Half an hour for a nice photo and cold coffee? No thanks. Hehe in fact I've been making coffee using a Bialetti Moka pot gifted by Beanie every now and then, it's super good! Anyways, I'm a creature of habit, I always return to the same place for coffee, my favourite is RINSE's houjicha latte, and Three Little Birds at Desa Park.

Dressing up, well, I still try to do so once in a while, but I guess I don't buy clothes as often as before anymore, prefer to go for quality clothing rather than buying clothes you can wear for a few times nowadays. And I have been buying more clothes that are suitable for work. And my work wear is pretty much repetitive, despite my colleagues keep saying I have soooooo many clothes, it's untrue wtf.

I don't really put on make up nowadays because well, I prefer sleeping longer in bed over waking up earlier for work to put make up. Also, everyday after work, I'm rushing to the gym for classes! And I'm forever late (There was this one day I met my gym instructor at the registration counter at the gym and he went like, "YOU ARE SO LATE!") so there is no time to waste for make up removal wtf. So yep, I don't even really put on make up unless during weekends or unless there is an important event at work where I'll be meeting alot of people wtf. But........ I just bought more make up hehehehe that I have been lusting over for awhile. Made use of the Black Friday sale and got myself UD's Naked Heat palette and the eye primer.

I'm struggling to get back to my eating clean routine again, pretty much been nothing but a potato. Eating whatever I want. It is so hard to cut down on good food wtf. But I can vouch that I have been drinking way lesser than before this. Been cutting down on drinks because I feel damn tired the day after drinks and well...... I've been doing way too many stupid things after drinks.

The feeling is way too terrible when you cannot fit in your old clothes anymore, especially your old pants! Or when your tummy is sticking out when you wear a body con dress. And well I've been gaining some weight lately, it tells on the weighing scale. Though I've been telling myself it's muscle mass I guess I gotta get real and do more cardio and strength training because the other day I tried doing old blogilates videos (pilates using basic body weight) and I couldn't anymore. Gotta stop solely relying on body combat. But I love combat! I love the steps, I love how motivating and positive the instructor is, and I love how every single one of us in the class loves the class. I've been in combat class for a year and in this year itself I've been seeing the same people in combat class but I never mastered the courage to talk to anyone of them. *Shy*

Over the years, priorities change.

From the past till now, I've always been a family oriented person. Or I have always been brought up to be one. Like I finally understood why mom has been so hard on me in the past. It was for my own good. And when all else fails, there is no one left to back you up except your family, they will never leave you alone despite how fucked up of a situation you have put yourself into.

Each and everyday I hear more scary stories about my friends losing their family. It scares me alot that one day it may occur to me. And my parents aren't very young anymore. Dad's hair is getting grey.

I've been trying to spend more time with them lately. On weekends. Or maybe just going home early after work to eat dinner with them. And I have been sharing a lot with them about my life and the lives of people around me. My next thing I want to do is bring both my parents on a holiday, and hopefully they won't drive me crazy during that holiday. Because old people like to do different things as compared to us youngsters.

Work is well, work. Everyone else is leaving or has left to the neighbouring country with 3 times the currency. I on the other hand, kinda accepted the fact I am staying. I made plans on getting a new phone and a new car, will talk about more of this later, but yep, it's too late to go to the neighbouring country now when it's almost peak and I need to start over again, plus forgoing my bonus. I have said this time and time again, but in my working life in my current company so far, I've been lucky to meet people who are so willing to guide, and give me room to learn and improve myself, and another plus point is having colleagues that I can click and hang out with and keep me going wtf. If I were to move to the neighbouring country next year, it wouldn't be so beneficial for me as well...... So I guess I'm staying for a while now........... But well I don't really know, who knows, in my next post I might just tell you all about my move to another country....

Heh, I am really lucky to be working in such a good environment, though sometimes work can drive me nuts. Well, I've been always taught to look at the objective of doing things, and well I could always approach people around me if there was something I did not understand about. And so far, I've been learning new things and understanding what I've been doing. Though on some days, it can get real tough and challenging. After overcoming the challenge and looking back at it, it's like hey I did it! It was not as bad after all! What sort of challenge, juggling multiple jobs at a time, having way too many things due on the same day which results in me having to stay back late to complete everything. It's not so easy to 'just pass to someone else to do lah' because hey, there is something called being responsible and not everyone knows what is going on, or receive comments like 'quit your job lah'. There is nothing wrong with my job.

Heh, I'm quite glad that I have relatable friends to complain to regarding my job because they understand my pain. It's hard to complain to someone who works outside of this line, because here, we pick up things fast and we have to lead a team, within at least two years of experience. Meanwhile, other people who are outside this line is like, well, most likely bitching about their bosses and how they are being monitored. And when I tell them, maybe your boss is trying to make you see things in a different perspective, or "Have you ever asked why he is making you do that?" Then people get triggered LOLOL. Oops.

That explains why when others ask me how is work nowadays, I don't even bother explaining anymore.

Recently though, have been looking at the new iPhone and cars not because I want a new phone or car for the sake of wanting one, but I actually need one. My phone is dying and its pathetic 16GB storage space is annoying the shit out of me with the constant "out of memory" pop up message. And the car, well, anyone of my friends/colleagues who I picked up says the same shit about how worrying it is to drive a car like mine which acts as if it is going to breakdown any time and anywhere.

I didn't know the car was such a time consuming and expensive toy until my friend recently got a car. He was like telling me how he did so much research online, how he picked the right salesman up till how did he go apply for his car loan.

I have been isolating myself a lot lately. Well, in the sense that I don't share a lot about myself anymore, I'm cautious about who I go out with or share things with, and I don't really bother to make conversation with new people any more. So much that sometimes I just feel that I just can't communicate with anyone else any more, I don't know how. This scares me.

Why have I built this wall? I've been through too much.

What makes me feel happy and contented nowadays, if you really want to know, is a good workout at the gym, or just spending alone time drinking a cup of coffee at my favourite cafe, getting adequate sleep, spending time with a good bunch of friends and conversations about what we are doing with our lives these days.

Heh, gotta run, toodles!