Sunday, April 7, 2013

What To Write?


It feels so foreign to write nowadays.

I wonder why.

Writing less because my thoughts are so exposed and vulnerable. Nowadays my thoughts are left in my head, constantly on replay. I wish there was a space for me to express how I feel, but I just have to surpress all those thoughts for the fear of them being used against me one day.

For the fear of sounding too stupid and naive, but I guess along the way, we change, we grow, for better or worse.

"What to write in my blog today?"

I ask myself that and find myself clicking on the "New Post" button, only to find myself searching for the "X" button less than five minutes later after pondering on what to write.

After all, my life is not so interesting anyway.

But not like it was more interesting in the past.

What made me so enthusiastic to write about what is happening daily? What happened to the oomph to snap photos of the happenings around me?

Nowadays, the everyday routine seems so tiring. It is sucking the life out of me but this is how things are supposed to be right now right? All grown up, responsibilities.

For the past months, I have been writing about striking a balance in everything. I can't seem to balance everything I want to do in my list without having to sacrifice something else. My health, time for friends, time for myself, time to do revision.

Honestly, a day goes by too fast right now, I wish there was forty eight hours in a day or something.

Or maybe I just have shitty time management skills.

There is so much I want to do and with my tiny self, I can only do so much.

I just hope that one can see how much am I trying to do each day. I hope that one can feel and understand if the one should be in my shoes.

And not see me for who he/she sees me in his/her head right now.

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