Fitness Story

Disclaimer: I do not mean to offend any one with this post but I am just writing with my honest opinion and feelings. I do not mean to downgrade or blame anyone regarding what I am writing about, because I was the one who made my own choices. Also I am not any professional and what I am writing about is solely based on my own experience, so I am not liable if you guys have tried any of my methods and something goes wrong.

So today, I feel like sharing about my weight loss story or fitness story. However you want to put it.

I think I have written on my other platforms or back here a little about how I lost so much weight. But let me start over.

I need some motivation for myself to go back to this fit journey. I have strayed away from regular exercise for about a year, but I shall talk more about this later.

I was once like past 60kg back in 2011. I started telling myself I needed to lose weight but it never ever materializes....

Until I had a huge downfall in my relationship. I kept questioning myself, is myself the cause for this downfall? If I was more skinnier and prettier, would my other half like me better? Am I not attractive to him anymore?

I started comparing myself to other girls. How pretty they are, how ugly I am. How they can wear nice clothing, and how I can only wear clothing that hides my fat.

It was not entirely on my relationship stuff alone, people around me pointed out to me very obviously that I was fat. I participated in this Nike Run thing and got back an S size finisher tee. My two sisters were laughing at me and saying "Eh, you can fit meh? I don't think so lor!"

And that really hurt my feelings that very time.

I remember I locked myself in my room and cry after that.

Then I wanted to show him, that I can be one of those pretty girls too. That if I became more toned than before this, he would be afraid to lose me, he would appreciate me more, and to show him that I can do better than what he expects me to.

So I started going to the park every single day, without fail, sometimes twice a day. When I first started running, I had to stop to catch my breath frequently. As the days progress, each kilometre became easier. In addition to all of this, I signed up for Nike Run to increase my motivation level.

I started researching about how to eat healthy. Basically my morning breakfast will be oats and fruits with low fat milk and a peanut butter spread on wholemeal bread. For lunch, I would prepare pan fried chicken breast, eggs with butterhead lettuce. For dinner, I just ate my mom's cooking at home each day.

What really help me was my two other ACCA college mates, Justin and Ban, who were going on the same journey, except that theirs was for bulking up. They were so dedicated to preparing their meals and abstaining themselves from fatty food and I felt motivated to do the same wtf. Except for the fact that I am way more noob than them lah.

Another thing was stalking all the famous fitspo Malaysians on instagrams and also looking at tumblr/instagram/twitter fitness quotes and photos!

I told myself to stop eating dessert and drinking too much coffee, which I did.

Before I started losing weight, dessert and fatty food like McDonalds was quite on an often basis, maybe once or twice a week. I reduced that amount to once a month.

Also, realized after a while that running only helps at losing weight, and not building muscle. Got to know that running is a form of cardio.

I started doing blogilates and HIIT training so that I would have a more toned body.

I did not go to the gym at all because well, it being pricey is one thing, another is that mom believes that the gym is a dodgy place filled with weirdos I should be careful of.

During this period where I was obsessed with losing weight. Too obsessed till one point I felt really really weak and terrible. Went to the Chinese doctor and he said that there was a lot of wind in me because I ate too much salad everyday. After that, I started to incorporate more protein in my diet.

But losing weight also helped alot with my gastric problem, last time almost every month, I will have one or two days of gastric. But now it's like once every few months.

I have not really went out with my friends or what so ever. When I finally did, they said that I really really lost quite an amount of weight.

It seriously helped with my self confidence a lot where I felt that people noticed me and I get to wear the clothes I like and look good in it.

Always wanted to wear a bikini, but don't have the body to do so. Still do not have the body to do so in the photo above. Bought this bikini specially to wear to Pulau Redang a year ago but didn't have the guts to wear it just like that and walk around because there is still so much room for improvement!

Since I came back from Redang, everything went downhill from there. Was under so much stress in studies and personal matters that I was so not bothered to exercise. Did not really gain any more weight until I stopped attending classes where I had all the free time in the world and began to cafe hop and start to binge eat again.

They said that you will gain even more weight if you do not place any self control on yourself.

Right now I am at a point where I am self concious that I am gaining back all the weight I lost.

I let myself loose for quite a number of months now and I think its time to get back in shape.

Trying really hard to go back to the routine as above, but this time, I am doing it for myself.

Well, after a while, I realized, it was always for myself since day 1, not for anyone else, how silly of me to think of it in that manner in the past.

Wish me luck in doing so!

I know I can and I will do it!

How about you? :)

(If there is anyone reading this)

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