Sunday, July 31, 2016

Mid Year 2016

It has been a long while since I have written in this space, well, the beginning of my posts always starts like that but I guess once in a while I do get the urge to check in with everyone on how am I doing.

Half of the year has gone by, what have I done? What have I improved on?

First things first, lets start from what happened in the past month. I just travelled to four places and I think I have became an expert on packing and unpacking. I guess I am tired from all the travelling but also very well rested to go back to the daily routine of slaving away at my job. I went to two places I never been too before - Phuket and Pulau Tioman, and revisited two places where I further explored parts of the city which I have not been to before - Singapore and Guangzhou, China.

To be honest, the start of the year was fueled with a lot of negative emotions, but thank heavens for the people that were true to me, made me see that I was being upset over petty things and pushed me to get back up. Work wise was also quite aimless at that time, I didn't feel like I was learning new things anymore and was quite lost, slaving away, doing for the sake of doing and not seeing the big picture.

Six months flew by just like that, and most of it was spent at work. I guess I am getting used to the routine of waking up, going to work, coming home, and the cycle repeats. Work is not so bad with people I meet at work that are telling me that they are suffering the same fate, and I know that I am not alone makes me feel a little better.

I am terrible with keeping in touch with people but I am glad for he ones that stuck by me through thick and thin. And the ones that know me well enough on when to leave me alone, and when to hang out with them, it's like they know how to respect that I need personal space and yet sometimes I need the company of people. I don't really know how to put it in words... But all I can summarize is it takes time to know a person. Sometimes, the person you met that isn't the nicest to you ends up being closest to you and the people that are nicest to you end up as complete strangers to you.

Enough about rambling about irrelevant things.

In terms of career progression, I am excited and terrified at the same time to move on to the next step. I have been hearing a lot from my peers and they have told me how overwhelming it can be. I think the best thing I could to is put myself out there and be open to new challenges, and to improve on what I previously could not do. To have to report to someone and to be reported to, I hope I don't go too crazy on the people around me and always always try to put myself in their shoes first before I go ballistic.

Despite the long ass working hours, I still see a reason to stay in my current job because I am still learning new things and I still have that sense of satisfaction when work is completed. Also, love the fact that this job is flexible in terms of working hours, long leave during off peak and the people at work are quite open for discussion.

But the long ass working hours also got me thinking. When I look at my friends, and when I look at myself... I guess some people say we can't just compare like that, but sometimes when I look at them, I ask myself, why am I working so hard? Why am I slaving away while they have a laidback 9 to 5 job or have a Dad's business to run? What am I doing with my life? Am I doing this right?

I have sat down and talked to different groups of friends and have seen and discussed on how we have progressed in life since the day we have known each other. Some people have been moving on with life to bigger, better things, and some are just being laid back and enjoying life as it is. We are all moving at different paces, but, I guess each and every of us are moving forward.

I told Mom, that nowadays, time seems like it is not enough, and the days are getting faster and faster. She said it gets even more faster as we get older.

This time passing thing scares me a lot. I worry about a lot of things, particularly, death. Been hearing a lot of stories on people whose lives are taken away unexpectedly from them, or people who didn't have too much time to live after finding out about their illnesses and it scares me. It scares me on how much time do I have left on this earth, and how much time I have left to spend with the people that I love.

I also worry about not making the most out of my life.

But let's see, so far this year,

I have gotten my PADI Open Water diving license.

I finally signed myself up for the gym.

I closed a chapter in life which I did not have an answer to for TWO whole years.

I went for 4 consecutive holidays.

I had a YOLO experience of being left behind by a bus, but that shall be a story of another time when I write about my transportation woes LOL.

I participated in a 2nd run - 12km, and completed it in around an hour and a half or less.

Well, that is all that I can remember so far.

Till then when I have the mood to write and share more.

Goodbye x.

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